Cleaner bathroom floors.

 Scene 1, Act 1

 (Production notes) We open upon a cluttered bedroom, there are clothes and shoes flung haphazardly around the room. The afternoon sunlight glares in through the Venetian blinds and catches the amber reflection of several bottles of beer in various states of consumption, some have cigarette butts floating in them. We focus in on a boy and a girl both undressed under a sheet on the bed. The boy is sitting up and smoking a cigarette, the girl begins to stir and opens her eyes, seeing the beer bottles and a few condom wrappers on the bedside table.

Michael: Hey. You're awake. You want some water? A cigarette?
Veronica: ...I don't smoke.
Narrator: Michael eyes all of the lip stick ringed cigarette butts overflowing from the ashtray before giving a slight shrug. Veronica is still eyeing the condom wrappers.
Veronica: Did we?
Michael: The way I remember it, yes. Quite a bit.
Veronica: Oh shit! I don't remember a thing. How?
Michael: The usual ways Veronica, you started by pulling my..."
Veronica: That's not what I meant asshole, I mean how did it happen? I remember we were all at the Redwood, did we leave together?
Michael: Of course we left together.
Veronica: Obviously, what I mean is...Did everyone see us leave together?
Michael: V. You've really got to start saying what you mean the first time around. We all left at the same time baby doll. Yes they saw us leave together. They also all saw us kissing outside when we were smoking. You were a smoker last night.
Veronica: Damn, damn, damn....I was hoping that part didn't really happen.
Michael: Nope, you definitely were smoking all of my cigarettes.

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Veronica: The kissing asshole. You know exactly what I meant that time.
Michael: Ahh, so you do remember then... I knew it!
Narrator: Michael does a little victory wiggle under the sheets. Veronica glares at him and it takes all of the strength she can muster. How this asshole has so much energy while she's here feeling so hungover is beyond her. It only makes her more furious. If only she had the energy to smack him in that smug little smile...
Veronica: You're sitting there doing a little victory dance like you've won something. For the life of me I don't see how taking advantage of an intoxicated girl is anything to be so damned elated about. You're like a little..."
Michael: I didn't take advantage of you....You..."
Veronica: I know, I know....But all of our coworkers saw us Michael. This complicates things a bit here.
Michael: We're in the service industry V; Restaurant workers are expected to drink too much and sleep with each other, it's the only perk of the profession."
Narrator: Veronica fluffs a pillow and props herself up next to Michael. She leans her head on his shoulder more out of a physical need to be held up rather than tenderness, and takes the cigarette from his hand to inhale some herself.
Veronica: You know this raises some problems, I'm gonna have to quit. There is absolutely no way I can show my face in there again. What time is it anyway? Jesus Christ I have to be there in an hour!"
Michael: What? Because of Chef? Everyone knew that wasn't gonna last, this aint no reason to be quitting a job, especially in this economy."
Veronica: Jesus, I hate it when people say that "in this economy" bullshit."


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Michael: I know, so do I... Can't believe I just uttered it myself. Look, I can handle Chef, he aint gonna be mad at me. Shit, do you know how many girls at that place that he has..."
Veronica: Fuck Chef!
Michael: You did!
Veronica: I'm not worried about Chef, I'm worried about my girlfriend.
Michael: V, your friends hook up with dudes all of the time, they're not gonna judge you over sleeping with me. Shit, they all wish they could sleep with me.
Veronica: Do you really not know? Are you seriously that aloof? I'm gay Michael.
Michael: Yeah you are.
Veronica: I'm serious. After that whole Chef thing fell apart I was kind of a wreck. The whole deal about not being able to separate my work life from my private life like all you fucking cooks like brag about all of the time. It was too much for me to go into work everyday, see him there joking with all of you assholes behind the line. Talking about all of the other waitresses he wanted to fuck. It broke my fucking heart Michael... Wrenched it! And it's my job, I have to deal with him. I have to see him in his element. He's a walking sexual harassment suit, that mother fu..."
Michael: Yo, we don't joke about that. The kitchen is no place for hurt feelings, there's a different code of ethics. You don't threaten lawsuits on..."
Veronica: Save me that shit alright? You guys are a bunch of pussies, trying to overcompensate for your lack of balls to join the real military, so you created a proxy one to cock strut back and forth around in like it was a parade grounds. Gimme a cigarette will ya?"



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Narrator: To grab his pack of cigarettes, Michael has to reach over Veronicas shoulder to the bedside table. As he is reaching, he accidentally knocks the sheet that was draped over her right breast off. Noticing this slight faux paux, he starts to get an erection in spite of himself. Veronica notices this also as it sticks up from underneath the thin sheet at such an obscene angle.
Veronica: As I was saying, I'm gay.
Michael: Or bi.
Veronica: Whatever. Sexuality is such a confusing thing. It's really hard to articulate with my head reeling in hangover like this. When I was growing up throughout my adolescence whatever...I was always with girls, I didn't even technically lose my virginity until I was 20. I saw a movie, fell in love with John Cusack, started dating boys.
Michael: Wait a minute, you mean  Joan Cusack?
Veronica: JOHN Cusack asshole. Or, Lloyd Dobbler anyway. That movie Say Anything. Even the title alone, to this day....Say... anything... It brings to mind this romantic ideal of love. This true romance...
Michael: Now that was a bad ass movie, True Romance! I love Gary Oldmans white pimp Drexel with that whole "white boy day" thing.
Veronica: Will you just listen? I wasn't having love affairs like the ones I saw in movies with the girls I was dating. My whole life I always fought to be so different, yet in some of these movies, the romance, which is such a banal thing really, seemed so tangible. I figured I chose the wrong path, started seeing boys. It was equally as disappointing, but it wasn't as taboo to come out and complain that you can't meet a Lloyd Dobbler when you're talking to other girls about boys. If I had said that about the girls I was dating....Well, straight girls would probably just point out the obvious. But there's something so re-affirming about about straight girls, 

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that

whole "just get out & go find him" attitude that made it seem like it was possible. So I tried it. I tried it for years. I was "re-affirmed" by the best straight girl posse I could ever align myself with. But it didn't work. Ultimately it led to Chef, Chef left, and I started dating girls again. I can't believe you haven't heard about it in our little rumor mill restaurant.
Michael: When you waitresses want a secret kept, that's where it usually stays.
Veronica: Look, I don't black out. I remember everything about last night. Alright?
Michael: Everything?
Veronica: There was this point last night, when we were at the Redwood, and everyone was laughing and talking and drinking. You were talking to Johnny and R.J. about guns with the same passion that Lloyd Dobbler had for kickboxing when he was with his friends drinking behind the 7-11. You had this vulnerable look on your face, I never get to see that. I started remembering what I liked about boys. One thing led to another....
Michael: And now I'm expected to stand with a ghetto blaster above my head outside of your window blasting a Peter Cetera song?"
Veronica: Motherfucker, you'd better not come anywhere near my window with any kind of blaster!"
Michael: Ah, I hate Peter Cetera.
Veronica: I know...I'm safe with you.
Narrator: Michael, realizing that Veronica is definitely not in the mood for any morning "loving" goes into the bathroom to attempt taking a leak with an erection. Veronica, realizing that she is indeed safe, begins to collect her scattered clothing from the floor.